A post on bozablog got me thinking about my crazy childhood antics, and I thought I would share a story…
When I was in fourth or fifth grade the popular thing was "sleepovers"#–not slumber parties (that was for girls). I remember one particular sleepover at my house: me, my neighbor Zach, and a buch of kids I don’t even remember. I lived in the country, about five miles from town, and we had a big house with a basement#–the sleepovers were always in the basement. Invariably, we would stay up late playing video games, watching Skin-e-max, and trying to see who fell asleep last.
That night, we had a brilliant idea: we would sneak into town! Why hadn’t we thought of this before? We all got dressed and slipped out the basement door (at about 1AM). We decided on going to Mr. Mart (a gas station) since it was the only place any of us knew would be open at 1AM (of course, it wouldn’t be, but we didn’t know that). The sky was clear, the stars bright, and the moon out, but we brought flashlights to make it more like "A-Team".
After walking for a good long time, we heard a car. It suddeny dawned on us how much trouble we could get in for being out this late, and we jumped over a fence into a pasture. We continued walking along the fence-row, getting more and more jittery. After all#–it’s about 1:30AM in the middle of the country. Soon, we were all snapping at one another: especially anyone who wanted to turn around.
We had just passed a sheep farm (the only one I know of near Nixa) when we heard another car coming… only this one caught one of us in its headlights. We ran, and I tripped on something sharp#–something that cut my shin and made me fall flat on my face. I was wearing shorts (good idea for tromping in the underbrush) and cut my leg pretty good. The car had stopped in the road and whoever was inside was clearly waiting for us tomove again. None of us did#–we just lie in the deep grass, waiting.
My leg hurt and I could tell it was bleeding, but what could I do? We waited there for a loooong time. Suddenly, I saw the outline of a dog, trotting up beside me. It sniffed me, and started licking the blood off my leg. It was surreal! But I couldn’t and didn’t dare move! Eventually, the car pulled away, the dog still licking my leg. I waited a few moments, until I knew the car wasn’t coming back, and I turned on my flashlight.
That was no dog! It was a coyote! I screamed, kicked at it, and started running. This scared the living shit out of the coyote, and all my friends. We ran all the way back home (I never looked back to see who got eaten by the coyote) and into the basement. I was embarassed that I was scared, because Zach acted like it was no big deal (probably because it hadn’t happened to him). We super-glued my leg so it would stop bleeding and I never told my mom.
This is only a tiny glimpse into the dumb shit I did as a kid. I should really not be alive today.
Wow, I actually laughed out loud with that story. Does dad know? hahaha. Why haven’t any of us heard about this? I don’t think I was alive then, but even still that’s great. Ha.
I don’t think you were a glint in our parent’s eyes yet. And no, dad didn’t know either. I’ve got a million stories like this. Maybe I should post one every so often?
Yeah, I think you should. They give me a good laugh.
I think you should too! Good call on the super-glue, by the way. Oh and what’s Skin-e-max?
I am ashamed to admit that “Skin-e-max” is the nickname for late-night trashy fare on Cinemax. Although in all honesty, the trashy fare of the late-eighties was a lot less flesh-i-riffic than it is now.
Ha! That’s funny.